Thursday, May 15, 2008

Just another service I offer...

Turning my kids into serial killers, that is.

Normally I am into what parenting experts call attachment parenting. I try not to yell at my kids or hit them or do things that interfere with our bond. I'm selfish. I'm all about the bond. It's why I became a parent. And, to be fair, I think the kids benefit just as much from having a close relationship with their primary caregiver. Anyone who knows us will confirm that my children are veritably bursting with self confidence and exuberance for life.

On a concrete level, this means I breastfeed and have awesome biceps from lugging my babies and toddlers around, and that the babies generally end up sleeping in my bed until another baby kicks them out. Or, in Rachael's case, they don't sleep at all.

It's probably from all the caffeine she receives in her breastmilk, but that is ENTIRELY beside the point because I cannot experiment with my caffeine intake. I must have it at a certain level or bad things happen. That's how addiction works. And I don't care that I'm addicted... in fact I would take something stronger if it were legal. But back to the point.

Rachael will be an exhausted, grumpy little troll and still not sleep. She'll nod off while nursing, but snap back awake as soon as I move. The kid NEEDS some sleep. And Mommy NEEDS to get a few things done with BOTH hands. So I pulled a Ferber and put little Rachael in her playpen. She immediately freaked. I did what those Baby-Must-Sleep-When-I-Say-So people say to do and told her she would be okay and that it was nap tme now.

She continued to scream.

So I left the room and have gone in every ten minutes or so to let her know everything is okay and that we are taking a nap. Yep, every ten minutes since noon, and now it's 1:40 PM. She is in such hysterics that I'm afraid to go in the room, like her head will be spinning or something. I'm sure her cortisol levels are through the roof and that I am damaging some important part of her brain as well as chipping away at her emotional health. And all for a nap.

Tell me I'm doing the right thing. ?. No, don't bother, I won't believe you anyway.


Mrs. Pevensie said...

Follow your heart! I hate having to train children to sleep. Good luck!

dariasmama said...

You have just described my daughter as an infant. She didn't sleep through the night until she was 4 years old. She couldn't soothe herself to sleep until she was nearly 6.

This is my very longwinded way of saying, "Don't worry." I was uncomfortable leaving a child who didn't understand why I wouldn't come to her to scream and cry. It just felt wrong. THe trade-off was I was sleep deprived for a long time.

Author said...

THANK YOU!!! The baby cravings are acting up. Your post is helping me not go do something stupid. I really don't need eight puppies do I? Good Luck, I hope you get some two handed time soon.

Shannon said...

I just found your blog and I love it! You have any amazing sense of humor and your descriptions are just well, awesome!