Saturday, May 31, 2008

The Door Behind Me

How often do I feel painted into a corner, only to find a door behind me, usually with a giant "EXIT" sign with a blinking neon light? I tend to assume I am trapped when in fact I am being liberated.

Consider my baby. We were having sleep... err... issues. It took hours to put the poor darling to sleep, and then she would jolt awake the second I tried to lay her down. I took a short (as in, one time) foray into sleep training before realizing I was torturing the child. I really felt at a loss, which is not normal for me. Then, a friend mentioned something about her daughter laying her son on her bed for a nap... don't remember the whole story, because little bells were chiming in my head. I don't need for Rachael to fall asleep in her own bed, just to merely fall asleep. By herself. When I tried to put her to sleep on my bed, she fussed for a minute or two before passing out. Problem solved.

Painted into a corner? No, just too sleep deprived to see obvious options. (Thanks, Tia, by the way, and I swear I usually pay attention to your stories instead of gleaning parenting tips from them).

Working from home was a similar sitch for me. I really felt trapped, by finances and my career and societal expectations. When I had my second child, I was determined to stay at home and not miss a single poop-y, spit-uppy moment, even though we really needed my income and I truly loved my job. When I tearfully turned in my resignation at work, the director suggested I continue to work, just from home as a contract employee. And I was like, Oh. The four month what-shall-I-do drama ceased as quickly as if my boss had changed the channel.

When we moved here, I obviously couldn't work for my employer anymore. At first I did what I apparently always do when faced with adversity--lamented, whined, pitied myself for being trapped. Then I started experimenting with work at home options available without being under the umbrella of a corporation. I really feel like I'm making headway.

If you'd like to read all the stuff I've tried, I made a permanent record here on my website so other mommies can benefit.


Shannon said...

Thanks Emily - for helping all of us to see that we're rarely trapped and if we look closely there's usually at least a window for us to slip out of and in course find an unexpected answer or solution to the current situation.