Naughty Children

I am raising a pack of unruly hyenas. Seriously, just getting my kids through a grocery store requires the skills of a drill sergeant and a logistics expert combined. I don't know what I'm doing wrong.

I used to be all smug about my children. When other people's children had screaming tantrums in the shampoo aisle of Target, I could point to my sweet little cherubs with genius-level IQ's and good hair as proof that this parenting thing was not as difficult as people made it out to be. Just start with a loving relationship, use consistent discipline, keep expectations age appropriate, and be calm. There, now, isn't that simple?

Now I watch screaming brats on Super Nanny and think, "That's nothing. My kids act that way in church. With God watching."

And sometimes, they do.

My children have good hearts. It's just that being naughty is, well, fun. It has great shock value with adults and wins instant respect from peers. It requires no effort whatsoever. It's hard to stay by Mommy in the grocery store. It's fun to run in circles knocking peoples' grocery carts into each other and clearing entire shelves. Rice-a-Roni makes a fun sound when it hits the floor. And once one kid figures this out, another is sure to join them.

There is no naughty chair in Target. That's why you never see Super Nanny taking four kids on a shopping trip. She knows her limits.

If you've been through this, please PLEASE tell me how to dig my way out. And if you haven't, well, get off your high horse. This could be you, as soon as tomorrow.