Food in Yakima

I think I could live in Yakima happily if there was decent food.

Yes, I could live with the bitchy farm-wife type women with puffy faces and no chins, who think the "C"s on my Coach handbag stand for Carriage House. I could live with Craftsman house after Victorian masterpiece destroyed by "the highest quality" imported from China floors. I could even the fact that no one on my street knows the names of both of their neighbors. All for samosas or a decent risotto.

It isn't for lack of looking. I have tried almost every restaurant in this town. Gasperetti's, which is supposed to be *the* expensive European restaurant, was out of half of their menu when I went there. It was a Friday night and the waitress had to show us what entrees were actually available. It came to about 20 % of their menu. Plus, the chairs were crammed so close together than I was slammed into by every person who walked by and kept getting hit by a faceful of hair from the hair-flipping blonde at the next table. The food was barely mediocre.

Yesterday I was craving Chinese. Now, most of the food here is mediocre, but the Chinese food is downright awful. When I tell people this, they say, "Have you tried XXX (name withheld to protect the tasteless)?" So I tried them, and I can honestly say that was one of the worst meals I have ever eaten. Everything had been put through a food processor until it was mush. There were no spices or flavorings, even in the Mongolian Beef. The pan fried noodles I requested were angel hair. Overboiled angel hair.

I can't even find fresh lemongrass in the local stores.

Sometimes I think, Okay, I can live here. And sometimes I... don't think that.