"Back to School" Impact

Is it possible for Back to School to be green?

If you're a traditional schooler, I just don't know. Really. Here are a few ways that public/private schooling affect the environment:

1. Driving. Whether bussed or driven by mom, millions of children have to go to and from somewhere every weekday.

2. Waste. Because of the nature of serving large numbers of people, most schools use disposable products. Disposable dinnerware, papers used on only one side, paper towels. A cafeteria garbage can is full of perfectly eatable, untouched food. And wrappers; moms who send lunches have the food wrapped in plastic because we all know kids can't seem to fit the gladware back in their lunchboxes.

3. Chemicals. Again, this is caused by the nature of serving large numbers of people. You need bad-#%$ cleaners to make those bathrooms usable, and lots of them. Lawns get sprayed with toxic chemicals for weeds and bugs; plastic, paint, and other fumes float through the air.

4. Paper. Teachers are not amused when you hand in an assignment written on the back of another assignment.

5. Clothing, and keeping up with the Jennifers. When my stepkidlets were in school, they needed a constant influx of stuff. Not just clothes, although clothes were definitely part of it. Sunglasses, specific brands of backpacks, uni-ball pens because they just feel nicer, accessories. Shopping at a thrift store was an appalling idea; they wouldn't even go inside. This is not only ghastly expensive, it also creates waste as perfectly good items were discarded to make room for the latest thing. Luckily, I saved a lot of it and it is now used by my homeschooled junior high schooler and my husband. My 13 year old has been dressed for two years from one teenager's senior year wardrobe... dressed well, and I still have a few huge boxes of other stuff for when this round gets stained, torn, or otherwise ruined.

That's one kid, one year. And I have personally seen kids brutally teased for not having this stuff, so I wasn't willing to put my darlings in that sitch.

Anyway, let's compare this to a homeschooler.

1. Driving. Yes, we do some driving on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. I combine lessons with errands and one of these days Mrs. March and I are going to work out a carpooling plan. I'd say I drive around half as much as I did when I had kids in school, and it still feels like a lot.

2. Waste. Very un-encouraged. In fact, it's one of the only ways to get mom to blow her top. Creative leftover use is encouraged, and if you are getting a cup of water, put that glass where you can find it the next time you're thirsty. Disposable? Are you kidding me? I budget about five bucks a month on paper products, and that needs to include toilet paper for a family of eight.

We don't throw away food, we eat food. And it's real, recognizable agricultural products that are usually less than a week and a few miles removed from their origin. No canned stuff and what-is-in-the-chicken-nugget-cuz-you-know-chicken-isn't-spongy-like-that.

3. Chemicals? I clean with vinegar, sometimes diluted bleach. My husband has our lawn sprayed, though, and I get so mad about it but he's the manager of the company that does it so I can't cancel behind his back. I can live with crab grass; he thinks it reflects badly on our family and his job. Other toxins are just not here, partly because we gravitate toward used stuff that has already released its icky chemicals, and partly because I won't buy anything with a chemical I can't pronounce. Heavy duty cleaners just aren't necessary in the average household.

4. Paper. We mainly use the backsides of memos from my husbands job.

5. Clothing. Handed down, freecycled, bought on sale or used, and assigned to the Marshall family's complicated hierarchy of clothing. At the top is church clothing, which is fancy and usually matches the siblings' outfits. Then there are 'town clothes' which we wear out in public, to doctor's appointments, to lessons and co-ops. If they become less-than-perfect, they are re-assigned to everyday clothing. Last are the mud clothes: stained, mended, barely covering our backsides... these are not just for mud, but for painting and other super messy tasks. They are practically disposable.

The hand-me-down hierarchy is just as complicated. Church clothes and town clothes are handed down, everyday clothes go to the garage sale or freecycled, and mud clothes become rags and quilts.

As for 'stuff', I am against it and don't buy it. My kids have no one to impress. The other homeschoolers are just as cheap as I am, and they won't care if my daughter has a brand new Hannah Montana folder or an old file folder with a scribbled out label. They get 'stuff' as presents and from Freecycle, but I refuse to put a line in my budget for it.

Whether you are a public schooler, private schooler, or homeschooler, there are ways to make your stay on our little planet just a little less wasteful. What are you doing for our Earth?

Exes and Hexes

Grrr.

I just need to vent here.

My oldest son, Tyler, is from a previous relationship. He visits his dad and stepmother for a month in the summer every year and comes back with a lot of general information about how I am viewed by my ex and his wife. I like to call it "Melinda Said". As in:

Melinda said you should send me to public school because she went there and turned out okay.

Melinda said you are ripping off companies by ordering freebies. She says it's fraud. (This came after the question, "what is fraud?" and I said, "well, it's when you steal from a company in a sneaky way. Why?")

Melinda said your house must be a mess with so many kids. (Tyler said he tried not to laugh because I keep a very clean house and he can't get through their living room without tripping four times)

Melinda said you don't feed me healthy food. (At least I feed him at all.)

Melinda said you shop at thrift stores because you are cheap, and that all Jews are cheap. (Melinda's of Arab descent and has a lot of opinions about Jews, Muslims, and the interaction between them.)

Melinda said I don't have enough socks. (I only sent a few pair because he wears flip-flops all summer. And then she bought him a package of socks to prove how dire she felt the situation was . They came home brand new and unworn. Thanks for the socks, guys. He already had about thirty pair, but it's a nice thought.)

And it goes on and on. It's not worth picking a fight over, and it really makes Tyler dislike her. It actually has the opposite effect than what I think Melinda intends, because most of it is obviously untrue. When he tries to argue with her, he gets scolded and told not to talk back. Fair enough; he shouldn't be sassing his stepmother. She's still an adult authority figure.

It's been a good lesson for me, because it makes me realize how easy it is for a well-meaning person to say things to a child that are upsetting. For instance, several years ago I bought some square white dinner plates. I bought them at Macy's for a hefty price (for me), and I was really proud of them. So, the first time I served dinner on them, my stepson informed me that I should have bought black. Why? Because his mom has square black plates.

His mom is one of those people who over-shops at cheap stores. Know what I mean? Some people buy plates once a decade at Macy's; others buy them every year at WalMart. They end up spending about the same. It's a matter of habit and perspective. And I should have said nothing, but I instead said something like: Who wants to eat off black plates? How unappetizing. And they don't even have that stuff at the stores where I shop.

In retrospect, it was very bitchy of me, and I'm sure it was carried home to mom and made to sound like I mounted a detailed attack on her dinnerware and her preferred retail establishments. I don't feel too guilty, though, because I know she uses her visitation to indoctrinate her children against their dad and me. And the kids see it as : look how much these people upset Mom, what is wrong with them? Or else, they think she just needs a friend and they should try to be there for her. So totally not a kid's job, not even an adult kid. And she knows it.

I try to keep my mouth shut. I try *so very* hard, and most of the time I succeed. But I'm getting it from both sides here: his ex and my ex.

It's more important that the kids be spared this crap than for me to come out 'right'. I just have to keep that perspective.

Thankful Thursday: Freecycle

Boy, am I thankful for Freecycle.

This week we got three big bags of toys (four? was there a fourth?) from Freecycle and found another Yakima Mommy blogger. TJ at http://dtkmkihn.blogspot.com/ lives less than a mile from me, and her kids had some decent hand-me-downs. Here are a few of our faves from the loot.












Malcolm likes dinosaurs and dragons, so he was happy to add a few to his collection.











Grace thinks the purple cat is a Bratz kitty, which is so thrilling for her because I won't buy anything Bratz... we have enough brats in our home, thank you. So, Bratz or not, this little plastic kitty has a place of honor on her bookcase.


Rachael is in love with this Elmo phone. Ironically, I gave away this exact phone on Freecycle about two years ago. Could it be the same one?

Ignore the furniture in the background, please--it's our family room, which is outfitted exclusively in hand-me-downs and Freecycle finds because we go through furniture like a winery goes through grapes. The antiques and Pottery Barn splurges refuse to enter.

Other things we've been gifted on Freecycle? Hangers, clothes for the kids (five separate occasions this year in fact), new bedding sets for the girls' room, an entertainment center, a mahogany armoire (not sure why they were giving that away...), old records, maternity clothes. Lotsa stuff. Even better is having a place to give things away. I don't usually post because I tend to give away things to people I know, but I always check people's 'wanted' ads. It's nice to email someone who has no baby stuff and tell them you have everything from crib to onesies if they want it. So check out Freecycle if you aren't already dialed into it... there's one in almost every community.

A few pet peeves about Freecycle: it's an environmental thang, but some posters have refused to give me items because they were holding out for someone who sounded needier. So, they basically want a story writing contest? lol. I also get a little annoyed when I drive across town for a bag of boys' size 4 clothes and it ends up to be a bag with one size 4 stained t-shirt and the rest adults XL (really happened). Or when I pick up three bags of size 2T clothes and they are all 12 mos or smaller. But usually I can find someone who can use the surplus (in both cases I did), and I love the constant flow of new stuff into our house. It inspires me to increase the flow of stuff out of our home, and there's no cost, financial, environmental, or otherwise.

To Cool Off... My Baby Sister in the Snow Last Winter

Crockpot in the Morning, Crockpot in the Evening, ...

This morning I woke up and a hot, healthy breakfast was ready to eat. No, my husband didn't get on a helpful streak (those of us who know my husband are laughing right now... he has many fine qualities, but he's happy to leave all housework to me). I made crockpot oatmeal. And it was SOOOO good. Here's the recipe I used:

Ingredients:

• Butter or oil
• 2 cups of oats, not instant or quick. Just plain oats.
• 5 cups of liquid--we do half milk and half water
• If desired, about one cup of add-ins, like: nuts, dried berries, etc

Instructions:

1. Butter or oil the inside of the crockpot well.
2. Add oatmeal and liquid, plus add-ins
3. Cook on low 6-8 hours

If you are the type who actually gets a good night's sleep, this recipe will be no good for you. Those of us who are creeping by on 5-6 hours will find this recipe a good way to soak up some of the black coffee.

A few thoughts on crockpots: New ones cook much hotter than the old ones. My crockpot was five bucks at a garage sale--this is the only way it matches my other appliances--and is, I assume, an older one. I'm not sure, though. If anyone would like to try this recipe in a confirmed new crockpot and report back, I'd be much obliged. I don't know if you've seen the cost of bulk oatmeal lately... it won't be an expensive experiment.

I recommend using dried apples, pecans, and apple pie spices as extras. Dried cranberries and dark chocolate chips are always good; just add the chocolate chips when you serve.

Crockpot 365 is a blog dedicated exclusively to--you guessed it--using the crockpot.

The In Group and the Out Group

Even though I am a practicing Christian, I really dislike hanging around other Christians. Almost every church I've been to has seemed swept away in jargon--Have you been born again in the blood of the lamb?--and totally self-congratulatory--We are so Awesome. We worship God in this totally unique way. Wouldn't ya know, it's the only way He wants to be worshipped, and I know this because I have Him on speed dial and also I have this little used translation of the Bible that isn't accepted by any other church...

This is how I ended up Catholic. Not because I think they are right about everything, but because Catholics feel so guilty and inadequate. It cuts down on the smug.

So, anyway. A friend, an intelligent Christian friend, whose beliefs I would respect just because they happened to be hers, said that she has hesitated to join a local homeschooling group because of the statement of faith. The statement of faith is loosely based on the Apostles' Creed, which many people (I'm told) feel is a tool of exclusion.

Oh, I hate exclusion. I have been the popular girl, the girl who the popular girls hated, the girl who hated the popular girls... Adolescence sucks, and I feel no need to recreate it in my adult relationships. I don't think it's a requirement to be a Christian. Christ was inclusive. He included everybody who came with an open heart, and even a few who didn't. I try to emulate that.

On the other hand, I think we can believe things, and have a group based on said beliefs, without excluding others. But if the others feel excluded, we have effectively excluded them just by failing to include them. Is that confusing enough? I don't want cool, funny, smart families to be afraid to join our party. And, apparently, they are.

How do I fix this?

MacGuyver Monday: Money, Money, Money

Grow a garden.
Buy in bulk.
Drive a more fuel efficient car.

What do the above have in common? They, like many money-saving tips, require more investment and waiting time than a strapped family has. When I was twenty, my then-husband and I split up unexpectedly just before we were set to move to another state, and I found myself jobless and moneyless with a small child. What do you do if you are hit over the head with a sudden financial shortfall? You MacGuyver your finances.

Step One: Cut Your Food Bill

The priority is to keep a roof over your head and keep any wage earners earning (or get them earning again). Where do groceries fit in to that? They don't. Most Americans have pantries full of food, yet we head to the grocery store every weekend for another cart full. If needed, most of us could squeeze two weeks' of meal out of our kitchen. You may end up with some unorthodox combinations toward the end, but if you treat it like an adventure, your family can have fun with this.

When your pantry is running low, the Hillbilly Housewife has a $40 emergency menu and shopping list that, while not nutritionally optimal, is certainly as healthy as the average American diet and is dirt-cheap.

My friend Mrs. Hannigan gets just about everything for free with coupons, but she has a few years of this lifestyle under her belt. If you are new to the world of couponing for free stuff, Couponmom.com can help guide you. Just remember: you cannot afford to "spend to save". If you can combine coupons and sales to get things absolutely free, take advantage. But beware of becoming one of those coupon freaks who spends $400 a month on shampoo but swears they are saving so much.

If your cupboards are truly bare and you don't see a paycheck in your near future, go to a foodbank. Many of us donate to food banks because we know some people find themselves in dire situations through no fault of their own. Save what little money is left for things like housing and electric, things that aren't readily available

Step Two: Impose a Spending Moratorium

That means no Starbucks, no non-work-related driving, not even a trip to the Goodwill. As long as you have clothing to cover your back, you don't need anything else. Remember that this is temporary. Eventually you'll bounce back, but until then, your kids may have to enjoy homemade birthday presents or go to school without supplies. This too shall pass.

Step Three: Cancel Everything

Be smart here. Cable can go, high speed internet can go, but if you have to pay $200 to cancel your cell phone, do the math. How long will you need to do without? Does your breadwinner need that phone? Can you cancel your landline and use the cell instead? You want to pay as little as possible, so keep your calculator at hand.

Step Four: Cut Your Electric Use

Pretend you are in a third world country and have no electric. Would you have television? No. A dryer? No. A toaster? Most likely not.

It's easy to live without a toaster. It's hard to live without a refrigerator. The longer you can do without things like toasters and clothes dryers, the longer you will have money for things like refrigerators. Focus on what you physically need. Everything else should be unplugged and put away.

Step Five: Increase your Income

It's as easy as it sounds. In my case, as a 20 year single mother, I took a low-paying job as a nurse's aide trainee (every community needs nurse's aides because no one wants to do that kind of work). It allowed me to work nights, when relatives could watch my toddler. It was the worse job I have ever had... the worse job I have ever even heard of, but it brought in a regular paycheck and now I have a unique perspective on what makes a job truly horrible.

It wasn't enough to live on, at least not with the upper middle class lifestyle in which I was raised, so I told everyone I knew that I was looking for work. I organized houses, cleaned group homes, and sewed Halloween costumes (among other things). I did surveys in my spare time. I traded farm labor for rent. And while I was doing all this, I took college classes so I wouldn't have to live like that forever.

If you are determined not to leave your children, there are a lot of things you can do for money at home.

If you have a quick way to save money or earn it, leave me a message and I'll add it in.

Something from Nothing Saturday: Pillowcase Dresses

For my daughter's sixth birthday, my good friend Mrs. Hannigan gave her all the ingredients needed to make an adorable stylish dress: a pillowcase, a length of ribbon, and some elastic. The dress we are making is like the one here except that it has ribbons instead of fabric ties on the shoulders. You can find cool pillow case clothes all over the web, but my favorites are at:

Maya Made
Molly Coddle
Mothering.com

If you want to buy one, or if you are an awesome seamstress and can copy designs from sight, there are some cute pillow case apparel ideas at Pillow Case Dresses. If you get bored with them, check out these easy homemade onesie dresses and t-shirt dresses.

Our Normal Lives Don't Suck

My mother and stepfather left this morning after a week-and-a-half visit, and I exhaled for the first time since we put away our schoolbooks late this May.

Homeschooling moms should look forward to summer. Even if you are the year-round schooling type, the pressure to progress is significantly lessened; after all, your neighbor's kids aren't learning anything. Most lessons are put on hold to allow for family vacations. Communities seem to bloom with fun activities. If the whole world homeschooled, this would be what our lives looked like year round: concerts, gallery openings, and hordes of children milling around every conceivable public place. This is a time for traditionally-schooling to reconnect with their children, and a chance for homeschooling families to relax. Or it should be.

If your summer has been full of rest and naps in hammocks, God bless you. Mine has been a long series of disruptions, from a variety of illnesses both exotic and mundane to a parade of obligatory visits and visitors, all set against the backdrop of an anxious nation waiting to behold their political and economic future.

But I'm not complaining. I think the events of my summer have led me to make some very positive changes. I look forward to jumping back into our normal routines and seeing how the new twists add flavor and spice.

Suck/Rock(!) Awards for the Week

If you're wondering why the freebie updates at my website have been so few and far between, I have a variety of explanantions to offer. First, I have been busy between the relatives in town and the run-ins with the law.

Second, Yahoo (my webhost) had some weird glitch whereby I would update and upload the changes, but they weren't actually, umm, taking. As in, the website wasn't showing the changes. Because I've been busy, I just went along my merry way assuming that we were all on the same page, and now I've probably lost half of my itty-bitty audience to frustration and ennui.

Yahoo wins this week's You Suck (!) award, no surprise there. But you know who wins the You Rock(!) award? Mary Kay.

Yeah, seriously, like the blond lady with horrendous blue eye shadow. I can move on--it was the sixties, after all, and my grandma still wears that color too. And don't worry that I'm trying to sell you the stuff, because I couldn't sell bottled water in the Sahara Desert.

My friend Mrs. March is a consultant (or whatever they call the salesladies), so I'm getting a crash course in Mary Kay-ology. I now know that it's not MLM, which is cool. I know that Mrs. March's boss ladies are super nice to her and that she needs more of that in her life. Don't we all. I know that she's all smiley lately and strutting around in cute black dresses as if she didn't grow up around here, where women actually have 'church jeans'.

Now my mother wants to sell it. Half of me says GO FOR IT because she could use a few nice boss ladies and she already has the cute black dresses. Part of me worries she'll invest time and money and not recoup it, because she is already strapped for both between two frail elderly parents and various parasite relatives. And of course, I wonder why do this with her level of education. Am I going to finish a doctorate and still need to sell cosmetics from my garage?

btw, did you know Mary Kay was one of the first cosmetics companies to start recycling on a corporate scale and to stop testing on animals? You have that from someone who has never, will never sell the stuff.

Life Doesn't Suck Because No One's Hurt and We Aren't In Jail Either

I've been accused of being a lenient parent, especially by people within the uber-conservative homeschooling community. If you consider letting my children make their own decisions on issues like hairstyle lenient, then I certainly am. If you consider letting them watch mainstream, age-appropriate television lenient, yeah. I'm not saying there are no rules in my home; quite the contrary. I firmly believe that children (and people in general) should be responsible, respectful, and fun to be with. We all have our standards, and those are mine.

All standards aside, we are and always have been the loud and perhaps obnoxious family on the block, and that has just become exponentially worse. I went grocery shopping today and came home to find my road blocked by a police car. There was no one in the car, and my driveway was just feet away, so I squeezed by it in my minivan and pulled into my driveway, where there was yet another police car and a police motocycle to boot. Men with guns were milling around on my front porch and my stepson was leaning against the railing looking very guilty.

Apparently, he was bored, and with the little ones gone, he decided it would be entertaining to set off a few firecrackers he had saved from the Fourth of July. (No, I am not cool with the fact that he had fireworks stashed away in a house full of small children.)

The neighbors thought they heard gunshots and called the cops. The cops arrived en masse expecting to find a shooting. And that's when I returned home with a trunk full of organic ice cream and veggie dogs (which were disgusting btw).

My stepson has a hefty fine to pay and my neighbors have something exciting to talk about. Hopefully we'll escape without fallout from the landlord, and of course I am so grateful no one was hurt or arrested as a result of this total lapse in judgment. I'm sure I'm not the only parent whose kids have, umm, lapses in judgment, and if trying to deal with this in a calm and rational manner makes me a lenient parent, I guess I'm there.

Wordless Wednesday: The Duggar's

I don't have a big family. Now that (see above) is a large family.

I am amazed by the Duggar's because they run their lives. Period. That's a lot of people, and they seem to be growing into functional human beings. For the record, I am not evangelical. I don't wear long skirts unless they happen to be in style that season. I have a paltry eight children and only four of them actually share my DNA (and I would never name them all with the same initial). I encourage free thought and use mainstream science curriculum. But I think Michelle Duggar and I could sit and have coffee (if that's allowed by her religious beliefs) and get along. I don't have to agree with everything she stands for to admire a bright and well-organized mind. I read their website sometimes just to see whassup wit' dem.

If you haven't checked out the Duggar's, you should. You'll be dismayed or inspired, and it's an entertaining read either way.

It's never Wordless Wednesday around here. Just can't shut up. :-)

MacGuyver Monday: Doing stuff with yarn

If you knit or crochet, you probably have a few skeins of yarn lying around. What can you do that's useful and doesn't require buying yet more yarn? Here are a few ideas.

1. Amigurumi are an easy and cute way to use up yarn in a productive way. Basically, they are cute little crocheted Japanese stuffed animals. I am going to make some for Christmas stockings, and maybe Etsy.
Here's a link with lots-a amigurumi tips and a pattern for a little guy.

2. Crochet or knit dishcloths, potholders, and hot pads.

3. Make little flowers to decorate clothing.

4. Make pom-poms--no knitting or crocheting needed, and it's so easy a little kid could make them.

Menu Planning for Non-Meat Eaters

I was looking around at menu planning sites today, searching for recipes to feed next week's house guests.

Houseguests make for difficult meal planning in the Sagemommy household. On one hand, I want to knock their socks off with my gourmet skills; on the other hand, I would like to spend some time with my family outside the kitchen. Then there's the ingredient issue; we are mainly meatless around here, but most Americans are conditioned to think it's not dinner without a slab of flesh taking up half their plate. I want to introduce people to the delicious fresh tastes of a Yakima summer, but I don't want them to go home grumbling. Also, my houseguests are highly allergic to, among other things, milk and milk products.

I've discovered that most meal planning sites either recommend rotating the most boring traditional American meals--as in Monday is spaghetti night, Tuesday is taco night, etc.--or they plan meals around meat, as in Monday we'll make something with chicken breast, Tuesday something with pork chops, and so on. All of these work wonderfully if you really, really enjoy traditional American foods. If. My houseguests happen to be my parents--a European/Jewish heritage stepfather, and a Middle Eastern/Central Asian/Eastern European/non-practicing Jewish mother who grew up in China. Did I mention they're Buddhist? Only in California...

Then I had an epiphany: why not plan meals according to cuisine type? As in Monday--Mexican, Tuesday--Thai, Wednesday--Italian, and so on. I started searching, and I found low-meat, dairy-free, budget-friendly meals from every nation I could think of on the web. I think this is going to become my new strategy. As a bonus, this plan made it easy to plan side dishes, as Thai food just begs for sauteed noodles and it isn't Mexican night without Spanish rice. As I am fond of pointing out, third world cuisine is generally cheap and easy to prepare, because they are even more strapped for time and cash then we are.

I plan to incorporate more adventurous cuisines into my family's diet this summer. It will keep us out of the sandwich/salad/fruit rut we seem to creep into when it gets too warm to properly cook. Don't worry; I'll share recipes as I find good ones.

Maxing Out your Meat

That sounds like a Enzyte commercial, but, seriously, that's not where I'm going with this.

The price of meat is going up with the price of, well, everything. I think the price is going to increase faster than other food prices, and here's why:

Meat, even local meat, is rarely entirely local. Cows, for instance, have to be shipped from where they are born to where they are raised, then from there to where they are fattened just before slaughter, then to where they are slaughtered, then to where they are processed and packed, then to a store's distribution center, and then to the store. Whew! that's quite a run-on sentence, and it's quite a lot of traveling for an animal whose sole function is to lay quiet on your plate with a side of Yukon Gold fries.

Animals don't fit neatly in the back of a Prius, and with oil prices going up every second, it's fair to say that these intrepid world travelers are not getting any cheaper. So how do you cut your meat budget in times like these? By cutting your meat intake. And here's how:

1. Experiment with vegan meals. Even meat lovers will like some of them, so try a few out. Instead of making spaghetti without the meatballs, try checking out a vegan cookbook and trying an altogether new dish, one that won't feel like it has something missing.

2. Do the meat limbo--lower, lower, lower. In the spaghetti with meatballs example, make your meatballs slightly smaller, with slightly more fillers, and use slightly less. Go a little lower every time you try a recipe, and bump back up a step when people start complaining. You can halve your meat usage this way without your family noticing.

3. Experiment with cheaper cuts of meat. Chuck roast may not be ideal for barbecuing, but it sure makes a nice pot roast. Tougher cuts of meat are often more flavorful, and therefore better for casseroles and stews.

Meat is always tastier and greener when bought from local farmers and butchers, so call around about options other than the corner supermarket. Sometimes these sources are cheaper, too.

If you're worried about protein intake, remember that most Americans are getting two to four times the protein they need. Unless you're a strict vegan, you ought to be okay (and what strict vegan would be reading this?).

Life Doesn't Suck. Really, It Doesn't. Really.

Two visits to the emergency room don't ruin your week, really. Never mind being unable to conduct your life because your cell phone charger is lost and the hospital doesn't have wi-fi. (freakin' Safeway has wi-fi and the hospital doesn't...) Never mind getting two small children to sit still for hours. It was fun, like I was Supernanny except I can spank and threaten them. Never mind waiting five hours only to be told to return in twelve hours, then being scolded for 'abusing the emergency room system' when I return. Never mind having my doctor (the incredible, disappearing Dr. X) unreachable and the ER doctor making decisions based on the advice of the resident on call at CWFM (I've seen the residents; I have older-looking children and I'm only 31). Never mind all that.

No, my week isn't ruined. I made a gorgeous newsletter for a local homeschooling organization and got it to the printer only a week late. I still can't reach the person who is supposed to actually mail the finished newsletters because I don't have her number and I can't reach anyone who does. And I'm doing a really awesome job not freaking out about that, at least on the surface. My house is a mess, but it still has four walls, a roof, clean dishes, and clean laundry if you aren't particular about outfits matching. It's my stepdaughter's birthday and I still haven't mailed any presents because the kids misplaced them while Daddy was watching them while I "slept in" for a half hour last Saturday. I haven't had a chance to buy anything else. I don't have the money either. But that doesn't mean life sucks.

Right now I am trying to get ready for houseguests. Two of my kids are in their bedrooms screaming because they were brawling over who ripped a sticker left over from the ER visit. I sent them to bed for a nap. They aren't tired. But I am.

Right now, my son should have already had a follow-up visit with his family doctor. The ER people obviously have never dealt with CWFM. According to the scheduling bitch person, who I swear snickered when I told her I need an appointment either that day or the next, I can call next Monday for an appointment in two weeks, or I can see one of those preschoolers, with my luck the same one who advised the ER doctor to thoroughly tongue-lash me before sending me home with a child who might need his third abdominal surgery in five months. And whenever I reluctantly agree to see a doctor who is not Dr. D, he/she magically becomes my primary care provider and I have to throw several hissy fits and beg medical assistants for mercy before the schedulers switch me back.

Right now my baby has a croup-y cough and a stomach bug that is causing diarrhea. It's just one more service to the community offered by Yakima Memorial. Seeing my doctor is, uh, impossible, and I'm having panic attacks whenever I think of returning to the emergency room. But life doesn't suck, because, darn it, this is Life Doesn't Suck As Much As I Thought It Did Thursday.

Wordless Wednesday

You Already Own Some Great Green Toys

I swear, I am not going to put even one paid ad in this post. :-)

This isn't because I am against making money on my blog--oh, no, no, no, my friends. It's because I don't want to steer you into the common trap of thinking you need to spend money to be green.

The best green toys are not toys at all. Today I followed my kids around a little and noted what they did. Here are the favorites:

Baby:

1. Putting things in and out of other things. Like: clothing in and out of drawers, plastic dishes in and out of cabinet, silverware in and out of dishwasher silverware holder.
2. Housecats. Just petting them and making meow noises at them. When you pull the kitty's tail, it screeches and runs away--this toy teaches social skills!
3. Blankets. They can be used for peekaboo with people and objects.
4. Siblings. People like to pick on me because a large family isn't conventionally considered green. However, my kids entertain the baby as well as any Baby Einstein video, run without electricity, and didn't have to be imported from a third world country.
5. Anything that makes a noise, placed in a securely closed container. I like to put random stuff in cylindrical oatmeal containers for the baby to shake and roll around.

In other words, if you have a baby, don't buy them toys. Just childproof enough that they can explore and then get out of their way.

Preschooler/Elementary Schooler:

1. Drawing/painting/cutting and gluing. My husband brings home scratch paper from work, so this is zero impact. Plus, we recycle.
2. Chilling in the dirt pile. We actually have a dirt version of a sandbox. It's just as good for trucks, gets awesomely messy when you add water, AND it's easier to find and remove the inevitable cat offerings.
3. Bubbles. I don't bother with the glycerin you see in most recipes; I just add water to dish soap. No complaints yet.
4. Helping me cook. This is a HUGE deal in my home. My children have came close to killing each other over who adds the dried blueberries to the granola. Whenever I cook, I choose a helper. The others get to lick the bowl and the beaters.
5. Dress up. This is only ecologically sensible if you DO NOT wash the clothes until they are thoroughly filthy. I buy nifty stuff at garage sales and thrift stores--no expensive costumes here!

Tweens:

1. Reading library books. My kids l-o-v-e to read, and if yours don't, it's time to cultivate this passion.
2. Drawing. Just like the younger kids, but with nicer colored pencils and paper that doesn't have old invoices on the other side.
3. Crafting. Now is the perfect time for your not-so-little one to learn the gift of productivity, and maybe work up to their own Etsy business.
4. Social networking. People pick on Myspace, but I love having all of the preteen mischief be a matter of public record. I can investigate my son's friends and tell from the comments what stuff my kids are up to when I step out of earshot. Plus, they can visit almost constantly without Mom having to haul everyone around town.
5. Playing sports. Remember those round things called... balls? They don't have to be nice, just bouncy and well inflated. Hours of cheap fun, and I bet you already have one somewhere.

So, that's what we're doing at the Marshall home while educational and commercial toys alike sit untouched in their bins. No batteries needed!

MacGuyver Monday: Muffins for the Munchkins

With gas prices somewhere up in the nonexistent ozone layer, most of us aren't running to the store every time we run out of eggs. Now, more than ever, Mom needs to have a few tricks up her sleeve. The next time you find yourself without milk, cereal, or Pop-Tarts (tell me you don't really eat pop-tarts!), invent your own homemade muffin recipe from this template.

1. 2-2 1/2 cups grain (like flour...)
2. 1 cup milk, soy milk, or fruit juice
3. Up to 1/4 cup fat (oil, butter, peanut butter. This can be partially omitted if you are using a wet addition)
4. 1 egg, or 1 Tbsp soy flour with 1 Tbsp water
5. Up to half a cup of sweetener
6. 2 tsp baking powder
7. 1/2 tsp salt
8. Up to 1 1/2 cups additions

The additions can be anything... purees, applesauce, shredded carrot, spices, fruit, bacon, cheese. I've made cheddar chive muffins with this template that were awesome with soup. The key is maintaining the moist/dry ratio. For example, if you are using honey to sweeten, use the higher amount of flour.

Instructions: Combine dry ingredients, then mix in the wet ingredients until the batter is mixed but still lumpy. Bake in greased muffin tins in a preheated 400 degree oven for about 20 minutes.

The only thing that can't be substituted is baking powder, making this a highly versatile recipe. I got this recipe out of The Complete Tightwad Gazette, which is one of my absolute favoritest books because it is almost 1000 pages of these MacGuyver-esque ideas. You'll save the price of the book in the first week of implementing Amy Dacyczyn's advice, if not the first hour.

Listmania--Do Not Read If You Have a Low Tolerance for OCD Behaviors

Have I mentioned that I am a compulsive listmaker? I have lists, sublists, and cross-references to other lists. So far it has worked for me--the house is clean, the children thoroughly educated, and I always know what I'm having for dinner. However, I have been spending a lot of my time making, finding, and managing lists, so I decided to make a weekly master list that encompassed everything I need to do in my home throughout the week. This way, I thought, I would have a little more flexibility, and not feel like I have to make my kids skip ballet because I am behind on laundry and I just can't bear to leave that item un-crossed-out. I'll be taking on a few more responsibilities this fall, too, so I need a new routine, one that allows me to keep my act together without necessarily being home all the time. So I set about making my list by, err, making a list of how I was going to do that.

Item One: List everything I do in a week.

It took me a few weeks to do this. Basically, I made my normal lists and compiled them, then gradually added all the little things I had forgotten. For instance, I wipe down the moldings in my living room every other week. It doesn't usually make it on any list; I simply do it while dusting if I notice it needs done. But imagine if I didn't do it at all, in a house full of dust-producing children? It's on the list now--phew! close call.

Item Two: Put list items in a logical order.

This was more difficult. I would like to think that I clean from one corner of the house to another... it's the most logical way. But, really, I clean from most important to least important, from most used rooms to least used rooms. And this prioritization method would offers no help with tasks like writing, laundry, and baking, unimportant little things that make up over half of my weekly list. I can't just throw in my weekly 15-20 loads of laundry while I'm dusting the laundry room. So I experimented with making the list roughly in the order that I do things throughout my week, except--oops--now it looked like the old daily list system that I was trying to abolish, except squished together is a messy kind of way instead of neatly separated by day.

Item Three: Cull daily stuff.

Honestly, if I do it without needing a reminder, why is it on my list? Because I want the gratification of crossing it out. I want a list full of checkouts and ink-marks so I know that I did something today, even if the laundry is all dirty again because my daughter decided to help by cramming five loads of folded clean laundry in the dryer with the contents of the diaper pail (true story). But sacrifices must be made... so daily routines and things like washing dishes were removed from the weekly list. As a side note, I may still have a daily list, but it will be cross-referenced with my weekly list. Which is exactly what I'm trying to get away from...

But if I don't write down every little thing, I have no proof that I didn't sit and watch the Steve Wilkos show all day. I don't know. The daily list issue will have to be tabled for now because I am still on weekly list mode.

Item Two Point One: Put list items in logical order (again).

So, I took the newly culled list (down to three pages front and back--wow! is that all I do? and it takes me all freakin' week? but, wait, there's the daily lists too, take a deep breath...) and I listed first cleaning items in a logical order, then laundry, then errands and phone calls, then writing and web design stuff, then things that don't fit in anywhere. That's roughly the order of priority in my life, if you leave out childcare and husbandcare and miscellaneous relationship maintenance. I tried to list the items within each category in the order that I do them where logical (ironing after washing) or else the order of importance (calling for doctor's appointments before asking friends to come swim with us).

Item Four: Test drive the list.

This has taken two weeks so far, and it's still very much a work in progress. Each week, I re-evaluate and modify the list. My goal is to produce a master list masterpiece that will be the ultimate organizational tool and allow me to take over the world before returning home to a clean house that smells like homemade baklava (evil laughter and rubbing of palms).

In an interesting experiment, I have started marking the days that I do things on my list when I cross them off. I'm not sure how this will help me. Maybe my problem isn't the daily lists themselves, but the way I am asisgning the tasks to each day. Here's what I did this week and when:

Sunday:

• moved the contents of three bedrooms (one time job THANK HEAVEN)
• washed, dried, and put back the living room slipcover
• scrubbed down high chair and wash chair pad
• cleaned out bird cage
• stripped, washed, remade all beds
• washed upstairs bathroom towels and rugs
• did two other loads of laundry

Monday:

• picked up living room and dusted living room
• picked up and dusted dining room
• moved homeschool textbooks to laundry room, which will now be the school storage area
• dusted hall
• picked up Tyler's room
• dusted Tyler's room
• vacuumed all of the above
• cleaned the bottom shelf of Tyler's closet--it was my stuff; I was hijacking the extra space, but he needs it back now
• picked up and dusted laundry room
• organized the homeschool shelves
• swept and mopped the floors
• called around about preschools for Malcolm
• picked up and dusted master bedroom
• unpacked a box left over from move
• vacuumed master bedroom
• picked up and dusted nursery
• decluttered the toy box
• vacuumed nursery
• bought and sent gift card for a relative's birthday on the internet
• washed, dried, and put away five loads of laundry
• called to RSVP for a friend's party
• registered my car

Tuesday:

• scrubbed upstairs shower, sink, counters, and toilet
• wiped upstairs bathroom walls and moldings
• organized hair things
• scrubbed upstairs bathroom floors
• shined upstairs bathroom mirrors, glass, and fixtures
• same for downstairs bathroom, except for hair things
• organized stepsons' hair products and various toiletries in downstairs bathroom
• four loads of laundry washed, dried, folded, and put away

Wednesday:

• cleared landing of stuff--it's where everyone dumps things they are too lazy to carry up or down the stairs
• swept and mopped the tile half of the stairs. They are half tile and half carpet... hard to explain
• scrubbed kitchen counters and stove
• cleaned out refrigerator
• swept and mopped kitchen floors
• scrubbed sink
• polished refrigerator, glass, and fixtures
• one load of laundry, didn't fold or put away
• got car washed
• went grocery shopping
• sent in college transcript request, which required printing papers at the library because my printer is broken, then driving to the PO because I was out of stamps (sigh) how overcomplicated
• friends came over and went swimming
• one writing job done--a paying one :-)

Thursday:

• picked up and dusted family room
• vacuumed family room
• washed family room walls and moldings
• did two more loads of laundry, didn't fold or put away

Friday:

• worked on homeschool newsletter
• got email that writing job needs serious revisions, put it off
• called numerous people about homeschool newsletter stuff
• one load of laundry
• finally folded all that laundry I've been saving since Wednesday, but didn't get it put away
• went to grocery store

Saturday:

• husband decided to let me sleep in until 7:30; meanwhile, he also decided to let my daughter 'clean' the laundry room, which meant destroying several loads of laundry
• three loads of laundry
• washed and remade children's beds
• wrapped present for friend, helped kids make a birthday card, went to his birthday party
• went to Target for new keyboard for Tyler
• got about halfway through making next week's big weekly list
• continued working on newsletter
• noted amount of incomplete tasks from last week:41. Plus, there's still the revisions to make.
• contemplated whether I am just a total slacker, or if my life has truly grown beyond my ability to deal with it. Questioned my decision to stay home. Questioned my decision to homeschool. Questioned whether I want to start taking college classes. Questioned my ability to question my ability. Decided to make those daily lists after all because the weekly list implies that I do much less than I actually do.

I'm still test-driving this weekly list idea. Interestingly, I seem to accomplish quite the most on Mondays and then taper down to very low productivity at the end of the week. If this is because I am just more motivated, then I should come up with a way to increase morale after Wednesday. My gut feeling, however, is that I do the fastest tasks first and leave the more time-consuming stuff for later. I need to somehow squeeze in those last 41 items; they were all worthy pursuits. Yet I need my social life, in fact I need MORE social stuff, not LESS, so I don't want to cut anything there. Maybe I could cut back on daily tasks like cooking? but we do like eat. Hmmm.

I'll let you know when I figure it out.