Duck! The Boomerang's Returning!

You don't have to duck. Just me. Because, yes, two of my older kids are returning home for a while. Due to real estate situations, their apartment is no longer available (or it won't be in a few weeks at least).

I love that they feel comfortable enough with me to fly back into the nest when times are tough. I love that I am still their step-mommy, even though one of them is literally two of me. On the other hand, things are getting a little crowded in the Sage Mommy home, and the last time they both lived here, our electric was like twice as expensive.

Here are a few tips for dealing with not-empty-enough-nest syndrome:

1. Make them chip in. Luckily, my kids both have jobs, so I plan to charge them whatever is a reasonable amount of rent for one-third of a bedroom (yeah, we'll be back to three in a room :-O ) plus electric and such.

2. Make them do chores. Lots of them. As I recall, older kids can double the housework load with their constant snacking in the living room and excessive towel use. I'm already making their chore lists. Now that they are adults, their to-do lists will look more like mine than before.

3. Repeat after me: "this is not a frat house". I don't know what went on at their old house, but I have an imagination. And none of it will be happening here. This is a family home, and only traditional morals are allowed. No girls, no monkey business, and any kegs will be confiscated to be later shared with the cooler members of the local homeschool community. You know who you are.

Life Doesn't Suck Because No One's Hurt and We Aren't In Jail Either

I've been accused of being a lenient parent, especially by people within the uber-conservative homeschooling community. If you consider letting my children make their own decisions on issues like hairstyle lenient, then I certainly am. If you consider letting them watch mainstream, age-appropriate television lenient, yeah. I'm not saying there are no rules in my home; quite the contrary. I firmly believe that children (and people in general) should be responsible, respectful, and fun to be with. We all have our standards, and those are mine.

All standards aside, we are and always have been the loud and perhaps obnoxious family on the block, and that has just become exponentially worse. I went grocery shopping today and came home to find my road blocked by a police car. There was no one in the car, and my driveway was just feet away, so I squeezed by it in my minivan and pulled into my driveway, where there was yet another police car and a police motocycle to boot. Men with guns were milling around on my front porch and my stepson was leaning against the railing looking very guilty.

Apparently, he was bored, and with the little ones gone, he decided it would be entertaining to set off a few firecrackers he had saved from the Fourth of July. (No, I am not cool with the fact that he had fireworks stashed away in a house full of small children.)

The neighbors thought they heard gunshots and called the cops. The cops arrived en masse expecting to find a shooting. And that's when I returned home with a trunk full of organic ice cream and veggie dogs (which were disgusting btw).

My stepson has a hefty fine to pay and my neighbors have something exciting to talk about. Hopefully we'll escape without fallout from the landlord, and of course I am so grateful no one was hurt or arrested as a result of this total lapse in judgment. I'm sure I'm not the only parent whose kids have, umm, lapses in judgment, and if trying to deal with this in a calm and rational manner makes me a lenient parent, I guess I'm there.